On our trip Dad

Arriving in Scotland 2 weeks ago was overwhelming. This is our trip, the trip to find your ancestral land. The first day i was all alone in Edinburgh, trying to just walk and see everything. I couldn’t have felt more alone and scared. Don’t worry, i put a brave face on, and no one noticed. Day 2 your other son arrived. It was wonderful to welcome him and have someone to share this load with. Dad, you would have hated this trip. So much walking, my driving on single track roads, how much i leaned on drinking, and just how unplanned and random Levi and i did it. I started to feel you in Inverness, the closer to the highlands we got, i could feel you pushing to explore. Out of the randomness, out of the unplanned i found the spot that i felt you the most, Skye. I could feel you telling me we were home. The views, the people, and just everything about that day of exploring i felt you. I met a friend that is gonna help me from the Scottish side track everyone. Don’t worry, we will go back to Skye, it’s not the last time or the last of our name to go.

Well, i did 2 weeks in Scotland and it was everything i wanted it to be, minus without you. Levi is headed home and i got on a train to London. I never did track our name to Scotland, but i did to Kent. I might do a day trip there to see if i find anyone. But i got to London and the building I’m staying in is our name. I’m not gonna lie, that hit me harder than i thought and i leaned on alcohol the first night. After taking a day to process and get over myself, I’m up and moving. I’m going to get a picture of Abbey Road for ManMan and mom. Today is just me walking everywhere. I know you would have hated all this damn walking, but i know you are watching and enjoying me walking.

I have heard you laugh at me, cuss at me, and just i have heard you smile. I really miss you dad, and this trip is making me see the joys we missed, but all the joys we did share are now so treasured. You were/ are the man i look up to, that i wanna be, and i am trying. I’m sorry it took me so long. But it’s not the journey, it’s that i got there, right?

As always, your loving middle son.

P.S. I love you Dad